Mindfulness and Wellbeing

Looking after our physical and mental wellbeing are things that more and more of us are starting to do, because we’re becoming increasingly aware of the long-term benefits. But what about our emotional health?

This article Five Things Pixar’s film Inside Out Teaches Us About Emotions is a great starting point if you would like to know more about your emotions.

We all know someone who wears their heart on their sleeve and shares everything, but there are also people who we think of as a closed book, aloof or a bit ‘off’.

The reality is that everyone processes their emotions differently and this can be down to how they experienced emotions growing up. Perhaps they didn’t have an emotional role model, someone who showed them how to express and deal with their emotions.

They could have had upsetting experiences, which meant they bottled up their emotions as a way of dealing with the event and any other emotional event in their lives.

Then, as an adult, they might find it difficult to know what do with their emotions. It’s not that they don’t want to express them, it’s just that they don’t know how.

I know this only too well. I grew up with a mum who had bipolar and was regularly sectioned into psychiatric care. On top of that my dad was an alcoholic and never really expressed his own emotions, using drink as his way of coping. No-one told me what to do with emotions, so I ended up storing them where no-one could see.

This strategy worked fine until they could not be suppressed anymore and came out in a really unhelpful way or situation. Outbursts are ok when you’re a child, but they are not so great when you’re an adult and you choose an open plan office to let it all out – yep, I’ve been there!

It wasn’t until I began working on my own personal development, that I realised that no-one had ever shown me what to do with emotions. I often just thought I was in a bad or low mood and it was often difficult to get out of it.

Holding onto emotions is unhelpful for our health and wellbeing, they literally get stuck in our bodies, festering away.

But when you learn to recognise that your emotions are out of balance, it can be a huge relief and once you have addressed them you can soon get back to a place of balance and serenity.

The 7 Tell-tale Signs to Look For:

1. You feel in a bad or low mood, which won’t seem to lift
2. You notice your internal dialogue turns negative, you might think “I’m not good enough” or I’m so stupid”
3. You make irrational decisions
4. You feel the need to cry, have an emotional outburst or to run away from the situation you are in.
5. You have physical symptoms, such as pain in your shoulder, back or a persistent headache.
6. You want to be alone and think that people are against you
7. You feel constantly tired or fatigued, mulling over a situation that you can’t resolve.

Our natural state is one of happiness, peace and serenity. Our modern world, and sometimes experiences or events that have occurred, make this difficult, if not impossible to maintain, unless you start to take a closer look at your emotions.

Managing your emotional health

1. Start to get to know your emotions. Notice how you are feeling, what knock on effect that has on your work and life. Have a journal to hand to make a note of how you feel and start to see if there are any patterns.
2. Let out your emotions, especially if this has been difficult in the past. Give yourself a quiet space to have a good cry, give a pillow a good punch or go out into the middle of nowhere and have good shout. Notice how much better you feel afterwards.
3. Start to manage your emotions in the moment. Accept how you are feeling and acknowledge out loud that you are ok with it. Then be ready to move that emotion to make space for a more positive one. You can do this in your mind or again out loud.
4. Find time each day to shift emotions that have either come up or been triggered in the day. Taking a few deep breathes, close your eyes and then ask for the emotion to be brought to you that has made you feel…………however it has manifested itself. Be prepared that it may cause an emotional response. Stay calm and breathe it out with a few deep breathes, until you feel like it has moved.
5. Be kind to yourself, being emotional is not a weakness and cleansing emotions are all part of the healing process. You may want to choose your moments for doing this! Not in the middle of a meeting for example.
6. With practise, you will be able to work through the layers of emotions that have built up over the years. It will take time, again use your journal to take notice of your progress.

It can be very revealing to find the emotions that have made up your personality all these years and to realise in what way they may have been holding you back.

If you have enjoyed this blog, you might like 10 Ways to Tackle Imposter Syndrome.

As with anything, if you feel that your health or wellbeing is significantly affecting your ability to cope day to day, then seek medical advice.

Louise Hallam from Still Calm

After working in the corporate world for 25 years but feeling like I never really fitted in, I started my own business and finally started to feel as though I was doing the right thing.

After a chance meeting, in the past 18 months I have been working with a spiritual mentor, who has awakened my true potential and purpose. I have unlocked wisdom and healing modalities, which are in my DNA. This has resulted in a powerful combination of services to provide to those in the highest level of management who are struggling to get a sense of self, want to connect to their soul purpose and work with, rather than against, their energy and emotions.

My unique gifts and skills enable me to free people from the things that have held them back from living their true potential. Where they see limits, I only see limitless.

My little bit of genius is that I see things in people that other people can’t. It’s what I have experience in and it’s what I’m known for.

During lockdown I have also been channelling wisdom on conscious leadership, which is guiding principles for leading for humanity and people rather than profit.

The top tips I share below stem from yoga and are great ways to be more mindful, reducing both mental and physical stress. I hope you find ways to implement these simple and effective practises into your daily or weekly routine

1. The 3, 4, 5 breath

A super simple exercise that is perfect to do as soon as you wake up, and before you go to sleep. Practise either sitting in a meditative posture or lying down on your back. Start by breathing in for the count of 3, holding for the count of 4, and exhaling through your mouth for the count of 5. Aim to do with your eyes closed, and your gaze focused on the point between your two eyebrows. Relax your whole face so you’re not scrunching up your eyes and let your body just settle into the breath. After a few rounds you will start to get into the flow of it.

What is the science behind it?

• Reduces anxiety and anger
• Relaxes the nervous system
• Eases a busy mind
• Helps you get to sleep

2. Bhramari Pranayama (black buzzing bee breathing exercise)

Avoid practising this if you have high blood pressure, epilepsy, chest pain, or an ear infection. Begin by sitting in a meditative posture, either cross legged or kneeling. Close your eyes and bring your awareness to the point between your eyebrows. Breathe in through the nose, and exhale as a hum for as long as you feel comfortable. While humming, really feel the vibration running through your mind and body. Once finished, start again by taking a deep breath in, and exhaling as a hum. Try 11 hums and see how you feel afterwards.

What is the science behind it?

• Reduces mental tension
• Improves the acoustic and aerodynamic parameters of your voice
• Lowers blood pressure
• The vibrations of the hum stimulate the hypothalamus and pituitary gland

3. Diaphragmatic breathing

It’s easy to hold your breath during the day without realising. Holding your breath creates tension and leaves your body fighting for more oxygen. Regularly practising deep diaphragmatic breathing, by filling up your whole belly as you breathe in, as if you are blowing up a balloon, will help your body function at its most optimal. This can be done when you’re in a meeting, to when you’re in the car, or even in the shower by deeply breathing in and out through the nose, focusing on the breath going all the way into your belly and back out.

 What is the science behind it?

• Allows your whole cardiovascular system to operate better
• Provides more oxygen to your whole body
• Lowers your heart rate
• Eases mental and physical tension
• Lowers cortisol levels

I’m Geetanjali, it means ‘a poem/song offering to God’, but everyone calls me Angie. I’m a yoga and meditation teacher based in London. I was raised with many Ayurvedic rituals and practises, and the basics of yoga and its true essence was taught to me by my parents. My yoga classes focus on bringing people’s awareness back to yoga’s roots, respecting the ancient sacred Vedic practise, and ensuring people know yoga is not about flexibility alone. We chant, we breathe, and we move in alignment with ourselves and with each other. If you would like to join in or practise 1 to 1, you can find me here, or on g.tiwari@hotmail.co.uk

Anne Frank once wrote, “no one has ever become poor by giving”, and the difficult times we are living in now are a true testament to these words.

Giving doesn’t need to be a monetary donation – of course that always helps charities – but a small act of kindness in difficult moments goes a long way!

If your neighbourhood is anything like mine, then you’ll have noticed just how much it (and its people) have changed during the pandemic. Yes, at first everyone was panicked and worried about themselves – but this quickly transformed into a communal spirit of togetherness.

Neighbours who previously didn’t have time to say hello are now having conversations over fences. The elderly shoppers who youngsters would pip to the checkout till are now actually being offered to jump ahead by the same millennials.

And those doctors and nurses we usually moan about – they are now being hailed every week with nationwide applause.

There is no doubt that when the going gets tough we need to band together as a national, and perhaps global, community to pull ourselves through the challenging moments.

Whatever you call it, we need to find that common currency we all know – care, humanity, neighbourliness.

So here are eight easy acts of kindness you can do today:

1. Know someone who might be struggling? Please pick up the phone and offer some support. Even if it is a friendly chat for just ten minutes, it could make the world of a difference to them.
2. Indoors is the place to be. Be kind to the NHS and help to prevent over-burdening the already stretched health service by following the government’s advice of staying at home. All medical staff will thoroughly appreciate this, especially if we do this together.
3. “Neighbours…should be there for one another” (according to one ‘80s Australian TV show!). This is a great time to build those neighbourhood communities. Help an elderly neighbour with their shopping, make a bit more dinner and drop some off next door, or simply say “hello” with a big smile whilst on your daily walk.
4. Pick up some extra food items to donate to a food bank. Amidst all the panic buying and worry, there will be a significant number of people – too many – who won’t have dinner tonight at all. You could pick up an extra tin of beans and pass it on.
5. Donate to charity. With many charities struggling to provide enough support to their beneficiaries, they need you to thoughtfully spare some change. A small amount will go a long way. It may not be a lot a lot to you, but it could be a lot to the person who receives it. It could be a homeless shelter, a hospice or even a mental health charity (like the wonderful Shawmind).
6. Eight o’clock every Thursday night. Clap for our carers. They need and deserve our support and motivation.
7. Make a call to a loved one who you cannot visit, and lift their spirits. With lots of great virtual platforms such as Zoom, you can now see each other’s faces (and new haircuts!) and connect live.
8. Self-kindness. As important as it is to be kind to others, you need to remember yourself, too. Use this slower pace of life to do all those things you always said you didn’t have time to do before. Learn a language, take up a hobby, read more, or simply get some well-earned rest, but take care of yourself!

Kindness, compassion, humanity – they are unspoken pacts between people. They mean each person knows they are safe and supported in the other’s presence.

Kindness quickly builds a connection that can result in a lifetime bond, or mend what was destined to be eternal animosity. It usually doesn’t take much – it just takes something – and then you just need to stand back and watch the ripple effect it can have.

This is the power of kindness, and it lies within each and every one of us. Let kindness be contagious.

Muntazir Rai is the co-founder at Pledjar – a mobile app recently launched, which allows users to round-up their card transactions and donate them to their favourite charities. He is also a trustee at the international grass-roots charity Who is Hussain, and a former secondary maths teacher and head of year.

Cardigans are nice. Autumn sunsets are nice. Portraits of you drawn by your nursery-aged relative are nice (or at least that’s what you tell their parents, whilst trying to work out why you slightly resemble an octopus).

So no, nice is no bad thing.

But to be kind… well, that’s something different entirely. Where niceness can be slightly passive, kindness requires an action. It needs thought, and attention to detail. Kindness is, after all, an act of love.

It’s not easy to be kind, and nor should it be. If it was easy, kindness would be less valuable. The effort is what makes it special.

The beauty of kindness is that being kind feels just as good as receiving kindness. Your heart swells as you watch your sibling open a gift you spent hours picking out. You wait in joyful anticipation until you know your grandma has received the card you sent her ‘just because’. The flowers you sent a friend to brighten her week look just as beautiful on her grateful Instagram post as they would in your own front room.

It’s so easy to feel like life is too busy to find time for kindness. And yet many of us find ourselves with an abundance of time right now, and also a need to maintain our faith in the world. Kindness can do that, if we let it. Maybe kindness can be the pandemic that prevails.

Be kind. To yourselves and to others. It is the best thing we can do, especially now.

Harriet Grace has worked in events all her working life and has been running Accept Management since 2012. Major clients include the Grand National and Epsom Derby and she has additionally worked across events including the 2012 London Olympics, the 2014 Glasgow Commonwealth Games, British Summer Time at Hyde Park and many more.

When she’s not working, you’ll find her walking her boxer dog, Tia, playing netball or chilling out with a box set.