Looking after our physical and mental wellbeing are things that more and more of us are starting to do, because we’re becoming increasingly aware of the long-term benefits. But what about our emotional health?
This article Five Things Pixar’s film Inside Out Teaches Us About Emotions is a great starting point if you would like to know more about your emotions.
We all know someone who wears their heart on their sleeve and shares everything, but there are also people who we think of as a closed book, aloof or a bit ‘off’.
The reality is that everyone processes their emotions differently and this can be down to how they experienced emotions growing up. Perhaps they didn’t have an emotional role model, someone who showed them how to express and deal with their emotions.
They could have had upsetting experiences, which meant they bottled up their emotions as a way of dealing with the event and any other emotional event in their lives.
Then, as an adult, they might find it difficult to know what do with their emotions. It’s not that they don’t want to express them, it’s just that they don’t know how.
I know this only too well. I grew up with a mum who had bipolar and was regularly sectioned into psychiatric care. On top of that my dad was an alcoholic and never really expressed his own emotions, using drink as his way of coping. No-one told me what to do with emotions, so I ended up storing them where no-one could see.
This strategy worked fine until they could not be suppressed anymore and came out in a really unhelpful way or situation. Outbursts are ok when you’re a child, but they are not so great when you’re an adult and you choose an open plan office to let it all out – yep, I’ve been there!
It wasn’t until I began working on my own personal development, that I realised that no-one had ever shown me what to do with emotions. I often just thought I was in a bad or low mood and it was often difficult to get out of it.
Holding onto emotions is unhelpful for our health and wellbeing, they literally get stuck in our bodies, festering away.
But when you learn to recognise that your emotions are out of balance, it can be a huge relief and once you have addressed them you can soon get back to a place of balance and serenity.
The 7 Tell-tale Signs to Look For:
- You feel in a bad or low mood, which won’t seem to lift
- You notice your internal dialogue turns negative, you might think “I’m not good enough” or I’m so stupid”
- You make irrational decisions
- You feel the need to cry, have an emotional outburst or to run away from the situation you are in.
- You have physical symptoms, such as pain in your shoulder, back or a persistent headache.
- You want to be alone and think that people are against you
- You feel constantly tired or fatigued, mulling over a situation that you can’t resolve.
Our natural state is one of happiness, peace and serenity. Our modern world, and sometimes experiences or events that have occurred, make this difficult, if not impossible to maintain, unless you start to take a closer look at your emotions.
Managing your emotional health
- Start to get to know your emotions. Notice how you are feeling, what knock on effect that has on your work and life. Have a journal to hand to make a note of how you feel and start to see if there are any patterns.
- Let out your emotions, especially if this has been difficult in the past. Give yourself a quiet space to have a good cry, give a pillow a good punch or go out into the middle of nowhere and have good shout. Notice how much better you feel afterwards.
- Start to manage your emotions in the moment. Accept how you are feeling and acknowledge out loud that you are ok with it. Then be ready to move that emotion to make space for a more positive one. You can do this in your mind or again out loud.
- Find time each day to shift emotions that have either come up or been triggered in the day. Taking a few deep breathes, close your eyes and then ask for the emotion to be brought to you that has made you feel…………however it has manifested itself. Be prepared that it may cause an emotional response. Stay calm and breathe it out with a few deep breathes, until you feel like it has moved.
- Be kind to yourself, being emotional is not a weakness and cleansing emotions are all part of the healing process. You may want to choose your moments for doing this! Not in the middle of a meeting for example.
- With practise, you will be able to work through the layers of emotions that have built up over the years. It will take time, again use your journal to take notice of your progress.
It can be very revealing to find the emotions that have made up your personality all these years and to realise in what way they may have been holding you back.
If you have enjoyed this blog, you might like 10 Ways to Tackle Imposter Syndrome.
As with anything, if you feel that your health or wellbeing is significantly affecting your ability to cope day to day, then seek medical advice.
Louise Hallam from Still Calm
After working in the corporate world for 25 years but feeling like I never really fitted in, I started my own business and finally started to feel as though I was doing the right thing.
After a chance meeting, in the past 18 months I have been working with a spiritual mentor, who has awakened my true potential and purpose. I have unlocked wisdom and healing modalities, which are in my DNA. This has resulted in a powerful combination of services to provide to those in the highest level of management who are struggling to get a sense of self, want to connect to their soul purpose and work with, rather than against, their energy and emotions.
My unique gifts and skills enable me to free people from the things that have held them back from living their true potential. Where they see limits, I only see limitless.
My little bit of genius is that I see things in people that other people can’t. It’s what I have experience in and it’s what I’m known for.
During lockdown I have also been channelling wisdom on conscious leadership, which is guiding principles for leading for humanity and people rather than profit.
