7 Signs to Signify Your Emotions Are Out of Balance

Looking after our physical and mental wellbeing are things that more and more of us are starting to do, because we’re becoming increasingly aware of the long-term benefits. But what about our emotional health?

This article Five Things Pixar’s film Inside Out Teaches Us About Emotions is a great starting point if you would like to know more about your emotions.

We all know someone who wears their heart on their sleeve and shares everything, but there are also people who we think of as a closed book, aloof or a bit ‘off’.

The reality is that everyone processes their emotions differently and this can be down to how they experienced emotions growing up. Perhaps they didn’t have an emotional role model, someone who showed them how to express and deal with their emotions.

They could have had upsetting experiences, which meant they bottled up their emotions as a way of dealing with the event and any other emotional event in their lives.

Then, as an adult, they might find it difficult to know what do with their emotions. It’s not that they don’t want to express them, it’s just that they don’t know how.

I know this only too well. I grew up with a mum who had bipolar and was regularly sectioned into psychiatric care. On top of that my dad was an alcoholic and never really expressed his own emotions, using drink as his way of coping. No-one told me what to do with emotions, so I ended up storing them where no-one could see.

This strategy worked fine until they could not be suppressed anymore and came out in a really unhelpful way or situation. Outbursts are ok when you’re a child, but they are not so great when you’re an adult and you choose an open plan office to let it all out – yep, I’ve been there!

It wasn’t until I began working on my own personal development, that I realised that no-one had ever shown me what to do with emotions. I often just thought I was in a bad or low mood and it was often difficult to get out of it.

Holding onto emotions is unhelpful for our health and wellbeing, they literally get stuck in our bodies, festering away.

But when you learn to recognise that your emotions are out of balance, it can be a huge relief and once you have addressed them you can soon get back to a place of balance and serenity.

The 7 Tell-tale Signs to Look For:

  1. You feel in a bad or low mood, which won’t seem to lift
  2. You notice your internal dialogue turns negative, you might think “I’m not good enough” or I’m so stupid”
  3. You make irrational decisions
  4. You feel the need to cry, have an emotional outburst or to run away from the situation you are in.
  5. You have physical symptoms, such as pain in your shoulder, back or a persistent headache.
  6. You want to be alone and think that people are against you
  7. You feel constantly tired or fatigued, mulling over a situation that you can’t resolve.

Our natural state is one of happiness, peace and serenity. Our modern world, and sometimes experiences or events that have occurred, make this difficult, if not impossible to maintain, unless you start to take a closer look at your emotions.

Managing your emotional health

  1. Start to get to know your emotions. Notice how you are feeling, what knock on effect that has on your work and life. Have a journal to hand to make a note of how you feel and start to see if there are any patterns.
  2. Let out your emotions, especially if this has been difficult in the past. Give yourself a quiet space to have a good cry, give a pillow a good punch or go out into the middle of nowhere and have good shout. Notice how much better you feel afterwards.
  3. Start to manage your emotions in the moment. Accept how you are feeling and acknowledge out loud that you are ok with it. Then be ready to move that emotion to make space for a more positive one. You can do this in your mind or again out loud.
  4. Find time each day to shift emotions that have either come up or been triggered in the day. Taking a few deep breathes, close your eyes and then ask for the emotion to be brought to you that has made you feel…………however it has manifested itself. Be prepared that it may cause an emotional response. Stay calm and breathe it out with a few deep breathes, until you feel like it has moved.
  5. Be kind to yourself, being emotional is not a weakness and cleansing emotions are all part of the healing process. You may want to choose your moments for doing this! Not in the middle of a meeting for example.
  6. With practise, you will be able to work through the layers of emotions that have built up over the years. It will take time, again use your journal to take notice of your progress.

It can be very revealing to find the emotions that have made up your personality all these years and to realise in what way they may have been holding you back.

If you have enjoyed this blog, you might like 10 Ways to Tackle Imposter Syndrome.

As with anything, if you feel that your health or wellbeing is significantly affecting your ability to cope day to day, then seek medical advice.

Louise Hallam from Still Calm

After working in the corporate world for 25 years but feeling like I never really fitted in, I started my own business and finally started to feel as though I was doing the right thing.

After a chance meeting, in the past 18 months I have been working with a spiritual mentor, who has awakened my true potential and purpose. I have unlocked wisdom and healing modalities, which are in my DNA. This has resulted in a powerful combination of services to provide to those in the highest level of management who are struggling to get a sense of self, want to connect to their soul purpose and work with, rather than against, their energy and emotions.

My unique gifts and skills enable me to free people from the things that have held them back from living their true potential. Where they see limits, I only see limitless.

My little bit of genius is that I see things in people that other people can’t. It’s what I have experience in and it’s what I’m known for.

During lockdown I have also been channelling wisdom on conscious leadership, which is guiding principles for leading for humanity and people rather than profit.

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Support Us as You Shop with Savoo

We’ve just renewed our partnership with Savoo, a money-saving and online fundraising website with thousands of great exclusive discount codes and deals from the UK’s biggest retailers.

How do I start raising money for Shawmind?

First, select Shawmind as your chosen charity, simply click ‘support this charity’ here: http://www.savoo.co.uk/charities/shaw-mind

Then start searching for deals and vouchers for the products and stores you love.

Every time you make a purchase using one of these vouchers or promotional deals, Shawmind will receive a small contribution which will build up over time, without costing you a penny!

So, what are you waiting for? Have fun shopping, knowing that you are supporting a good cause!

Sign up here today


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Pay it Forward to Tackle the UKs Mental Health Crisis

With awareness of the support needs of children and teenagers growing, we are calling on the nation to ‘pay it forward’ and donate to ensure the next generation has the best mental health support available.

The WHO reports that half of mental ill health conditions start by the age of 14, though many go undetected and untreated, and 75% develop by the age of 18. Pre-Covid19, British children as young as five years old were being diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

Launching on Wednesday 26th August, our Give Five, Save Lives campaign aims to raise funds to enable us to train more teachers in mental health and wellbeing as the topics become part of the curriculum in the UK from September.

Peter Wingrove, Operations Director at Shawmind, said: “We owe it to the next generation to do all we can to help prepare them to live happy, balanced and resilient lives. But we have to equip them with the knowledge and support to be able to do that for themselves. We do this in three distinct ways: reaching out and training the children themselves, training the parents, and training the teachers who are in effect the ‘front line’ for children’s mental health at school.

“We’ve been working in schools since our successful Headucation campaign led to a discussion being tabled in parliament in 2017 to get mental health and wellbeing included in the curriculum.  

“Now our interactive online training courses for teachers will prepare them to confidently deliver the new curriculum as well as identify possible signs of distress in the children under their care, while at the same time taking into consideration the limited time that teachers have available to take on additional training.”

Thanks to financial backing from the National Lottery Communities Fund, Alchemy Foundation, Charities Aid Foundation, Souter Charitable Trust and the Mary Robinson Trust, we have been able to start offering this training to schools.

However, to enable us to train anywhere near enough teachers to make a significant difference to the next generation, we are asking the nation to dig deep and get involved in our ‘Give Five, Save Lives’ campaign on the Aviva Community Fund site.

Peter added: “Its costs £100 to train one teacher in one school, but that teacher will go on to support hundreds of pupils during their career. We want each teacher to be well-equipped and confident in offering that support to pupils, whether it’s now, or in ten years’ time.”

To make a donation to ‘Give Five, Save Lives’, click here.

Simultaneously, we are calling on schools to get in touch to take up the offer of training to equip more teachers and support staff within the education system to feel confident in teaching this vast subject and supporting their pupils.

For more information about our courses for teachers visit our Get Trained pages or call us on 01636 600830 to discuss your needs.

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Free Suicide Awareness Training – With Us

With almost daily headlines focusing on suicide rates and the rise in mental ill health, thanks in part to the Covid19 lockdown, we are planning to offer free suicide awareness training to all.

On Thursday 10th September 2020, World Suicide Prevention Day, we are hosting an online training session to help people gain a better understanding of mental ill health and equip them with the knowledge, skills and empathy needed to feel confident in offering support to someone in need, or in a mental health crisis.

Su Hallam, Charity Manager at Shawmind, said: “Having a basic knowledge of mental ill health and awareness of the support systems available to people who are experiencing mental ill health or suicidal thoughts can make a real difference in a mental health crisis situation.

“How many times do you hear ‘I wish I knew they were feeling that way, they could have talked to me’ when someone has died by suicide?

“Spotting the signs early on and having the confidence to approach someone (as long as it’s safe to do so), to start a conversation can be all it takes to enable someone with the help they need.

“We want to reassure people that they won’t make things worse by listening to someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts. But by taking the time to listen to them, you might pick up on something that could offer them hope – hope is a very powerful thing, hope can save lives.”

Death by suicide claimed the lives of 6,507 people in the UK in 2018, the majority of whom were men –  who are three time as likely to die by suicide than women. Men in their late 40s still have the highest rate of suicides, but alarmingly under 25s accounted for a startling 23.7 per cent of suicides in 2018.

Mental ill health affects one in four people each year – around 792 million people worldwide. In England, mental illnesses are more common, long-lasting and impactful than other health conditions.

Su added: “Our volunteers have been even busier than usual during lockdown, with more and more people from all corners of the UK approaching us for support.

“I’m hopeful that if we’re able to equip more people with a basic understanding of mental health disorders then the whole of society will benefit in the long-term as we learn to help each other.”

Hosted on our YouTube channel, https://bit.ly/ShawmindYouTube, the suicide awareness training will be delivered by Su Hallam live at 10am and 2pm. It will then be made available to stream at any time for those who cannot make the daytime sessions.

If you subscribe to our channel then you will be able to find us more easily on the day.

If anyone has a question about the training or would like to get access to a dedicated Shawmind support volunteer, get in touch by email to enquiries@shawmind.org 

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Introducing Our Mindful Meander Group

We are delighted to invite you to join our Mindful Meander walking group.

The group has been established thanks to funding from The National Lottery and Sport England, delivered through an active partnership with Active Notts.

The first bi-weekly group will meet by the back of the registry office in the Newark Castle Grounds at 10am on Tuesday 8th September.

The walk will begin at ten past the hour and will take in the Castle, Riverside Park, Trent Locks and Millgate before returning to our starting point. We estimate the walk will take no more than an hour.

Together, we will enjoy some exercise, share our lockdown stories, and perhaps lean on each other for some peer support.

There will be a trained Shawmind Mental Health Champion on hand if you want to make use of the opportunity to talk.

Please wear appropriate clothing and footwear and bring along your hand sanitiser, sunscreen, a bottle of water and a snack, as appropriate.

If you need any further information please call us on 01636 600830.

We look forward to seeing you there!


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